I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
