Got a toothbrush?
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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