lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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