ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
