His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
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