I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
