did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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