I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
