if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
