you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
