one two three fourrrrnication!
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
