i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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