he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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