i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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