I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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