the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
