They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I just had sex on a roof
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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