I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
