weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I forgot wine drunk hurts
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
