Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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