I'm eating all of the evidence.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Randomize
