I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow