Texts From Last Night

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  (512): View more from Texas

  I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.

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  (512): I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related. http://tfl.nu/b1mq
  Replies (30) Good night (3644) Bad night (903)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start

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  (617): Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start http://tfl.nu/p90c
  Replies (7) Good night (699) Bad night (3369)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.

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  (508): just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life. http://tfl.nu/x7zq
  Replies (13) Good night (4024) Bad night (841)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"

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  (240): Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug" http://tfl.nu/c6tu
  Replies (22) Good night (5834) Bad night (1031)
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.

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  (808): You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him. http://tfl.nu/k2hw
  Replies (27) Good night (1578) Bad night (3243)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position

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  (205): Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position http://tfl.nu/050n
  Replies (3) Good night (990) Bad night (1899)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex

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  (302): It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex http://tfl.nu/xtt5
  Replies (20) Good night (3437) Bad night (1267)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism

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  (901): No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism http://tfl.nu/00o3
  Replies (4) Good night (2856) Bad night (682)
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  (575): View more from New Mexico

  He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.

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  (575): He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo. http://tfl.nu/zgra
  Replies (3) Good night (1669) Bad night (693)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess

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  (908): I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess http://tfl.nu/xjsr
  Replies (3) Good night (2282) Bad night (540)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.

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  (303): Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night. http://tfl.nu/q0n9
  Replies (7) Good night (1147) Bad night (484)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you

  (289): View more from Ontario

  Is that a sex thing?

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  (647): I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you (289): Is that a sex thing? http://tfl.nu/v8ys
  Replies (0) Good night (504) Bad night (343)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.

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  (864): Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning. http://tfl.nu/ou8u
  Replies (8) Good night (593) Bad night (368)
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  (315): View more from New York

  He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...

  (1-315): View more from New York

  Hahah. That's good.

  (315): View more from New York

  I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...

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  (315): He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand... (1-315): Hahah. That's good. (315): I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out... http://tfl.nu/bifv
  Replies (5) Good night (329) Bad night (486)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me

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  (518): So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me http://tfl.nu/ljyq
  Replies (1) Good night (575) Bad night (269)

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