like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.