Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(214): View more from Texas

I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot

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(919): View more from North Carolina

You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.

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(330): View more from Ohio

We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.

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(914): View more from New York

i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.

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27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
Read it at the TFLN blog
(401): View more from Rhode Island

she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool

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(727): View more from Florida

Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.

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(518): View more from New York

I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"

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(602): View more from Arizona

How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.

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(513): View more from Ohio

The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.

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