If i come over, it means nothing
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
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I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
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Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.