Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
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