I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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