how can u be prego again
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
We smell like vodka and hangover
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