I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
It's official drugs can't kill me
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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