If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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