i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
