really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
