if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize