I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize