I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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