i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
