Texts From Last Night

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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.

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  (201): i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures. http://tfl.nu/5w6x
  Replies (16) Good night (716) Bad night (5628)
• Favorite

  (731): View more from Tennessee

  We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?

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  (731): We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country? http://tfl.nu/p4z6
  Replies (37) Good night (4661) Bad night (1187)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.

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  (404): His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me. http://tfl.nu/ej9i
  Replies (17) Good night (6597) Bad night (1011)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.

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  (315): My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw. http://tfl.nu/z7bn
  Replies (10) Good night (3475) Bad night (1063)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.

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  (704): Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out. http://tfl.nu/zs8i
  Replies (8) Good night (2220) Bad night (936)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  It's never too late to be topless.

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  (614): It's never too late to be topless. http://tfl.nu/ybgn
  Replies (11) Good night (2974) Bad night (910)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.

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  (734): The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me. http://tfl.nu/j8wb
  Replies (6) Good night (819) Bad night (1595)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me

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  (402): Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me http://tfl.nu/m5ly
  Replies (7) Good night (843) Bad night (2311)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  He was the one that got away. From my vagina.

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  (647): He was the one that got away. From my vagina. http://tfl.nu/504c
  Replies (8) Good night (1501) Bad night (546)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?

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  (267): There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn? http://tfl.nu/pvdb
  Replies (4) Good night (1345) Bad night (919)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.

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  (818): She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her. http://tfl.nu/k3ta
  Replies (4) Good night (375) Bad night (959)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.

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  (309): It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change. http://tfl.nu/p0m1
  Replies (14) Good night (1121) Bad night (999)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  Die.

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  (203): Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart (763): Die. http://tfl.nu/kmyn
  Replies (11) Good night (781) Bad night (1082)
• Favorite

  (705): View more from Ontario

  He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.

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  (705): He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on. http://tfl.nu/2ncf
  Replies (9) Good night (3023) Bad night (403)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.

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  (304): Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint. http://tfl.nu/67cs
  Replies (2) Good night (712) Bad night (277)

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