OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis