Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(251): View more from Alabama

i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.

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(251): i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend. http://tfl.nu/2rn9

Replies (9) Good night (693) Bad night (1941)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!

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(202): Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER! http://tfl.nu/jion

Replies (30) Good night (4959) Bad night (811)
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(325): View more from Texas

just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?

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(325): just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish? http://tfl.nu/2ysn

Replies (26) Good night (4016) Bad night (956)
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(408): View more from California

New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.

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(408): New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority. http://tfl.nu/3oej

Replies (18) Good night (5194) Bad night (1373)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..

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(832): I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete.. http://tfl.nu/bykt

Replies (28) Good night (5449) Bad night (1373)
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(217): View more from Illinois

Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside

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(217): Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside http://tfl.nu/d6yu

Replies (13) Good night (9431) Bad night (1132)
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(407): View more from Florida

Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?

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(407): Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening? http://tfl.nu/psmr

Replies (4) Good night (1878) Bad night (3068)
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.

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(484): I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet. http://tfl.nu/aaoq

Replies (1) Good night (1063) Bad night (1683)
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(250): View more from British Columbia

Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.

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(250): Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life. http://tfl.nu/nnhi

Replies (8) Good night (1012) Bad night (596)
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(410): View more from Maryland

Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.

(732): View more from New Jersey

all 3? possibly?

(410): View more from Maryland

I think I'm up to the challenge.

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(410): Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone. (732): all 3? possibly? (410): I think I'm up to the challenge. http://tfl.nu/jtli

Replies (4) Good night (1429) Bad night (838)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now

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(978): At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now http://tfl.nu/9tr0

Replies (7) Good night (488) Bad night (852)
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(551): View more from New Jersey

No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.

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(551): No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours. http://tfl.nu/8sve

Replies (4) Good night (1224) Bad night (291)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.

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(202): No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free. http://tfl.nu/2enk

Replies (16) Good night (585) Bad night (979)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....

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(201): Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza..... http://tfl.nu/oi2c

Replies (1) Good night (782) Bad night (376)
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(318): View more from Louisiana

Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.

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(318): Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana. http://tfl.nu/wjg5

Replies (2) Good night (804) Bad night (293)

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