ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
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Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
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A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.