Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked