dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
