WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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