i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize