This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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