if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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