Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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