she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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