There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize