Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
just tell him i said nine months
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
