brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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