I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Randomize
