I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
