just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
