I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
