similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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