omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
