Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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