At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
