haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
