I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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