and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
