Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Randomize
