drunk tastebuds have low standards.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize