I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
they're like a gay fantastic four
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
