You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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