just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
