I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
